Redneck Secret Agent

You might be a redneck secret agent if . . .

  • your favorite beverage is Budweiser, shaken, not stirred.
  • your double-barreled shotgun can reconfigure itself into a briefcase.
  • your pickup truck has a bulletproof shield that rises out of the tailgate.
  • your Asten Martin DB5 is cleverly disguised to look like it’s up on blocks.
  • there’s a hidden camera in your John Deere baseball cap.
  • your chewing tobacco releases an acid that can eat through steel.
  • your arch nemesis is named Dr. Naw.
  • you can defeat 20 ninjas just by belching.

Can anybody think of any more?

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