You might be a redneck secret agent if . . .
- your favorite beverage is Budweiser, shaken, not stirred.
- your double-barreled shotgun can reconfigure itself into a briefcase.
- your pickup truck has a bulletproof shield that rises out of the tailgate.
- your Asten Martin DB5 is cleverly disguised to look like it’s up on blocks.
- there’s a hidden camera in your John Deere baseball cap.
- your chewing tobacco releases an acid that can eat through steel.
- your arch nemesis is named Dr. Naw.
- you can defeat 20 ninjas just by belching.
Can anybody think of any more?