Another terrible day at work. Not performance-wise, mind you, just ploddingly slow with very few calls coming. Operations has to send people home hours ahead of when they’re due, and I’m already smarting in the paycheck from being sent home Thursday and Friday. I normally work 5:00 PM to 1:00 AM, and I was secretly laying odds I wouldn’t last until 11:00 PM.
I find this lack of business hard to fathom. What causes it? Are folks just so scared of being charged out the wazoo that they’re getting their troubleshooting advice online whenever possible? I thought I was in one of the more immune lines of work. I was betting on how newly unemployed people would hit Monster.com really hard before being forced to cancel their broadband Internet service.
I don’t have that peace that Peter Knehaus (from my church) does about being unemployed. I may seem cool on the outside, but inside I’m as torn up and worried as I can be. I don’t know if I’m doing this faith thing right. Do I keep it hidden or do I cut loose with a loud wail to my God?
The Devil just loves to chime in with his two cents, mostly along the lines that I’m nowhere near doing it right. I’m not screaming myself hoarse or crying enough tears. I’m not on my knees enough or didn’t put enough money in the offering bag. Always some reason or another for God to not hear word number one of my prayers.
Whenever you’re doubting yourself like I do, best thing I can tell you is to ask God for stuff anyway, not because you’re good but because He’s good. And he came through for me tonight. While other 5 to 1 agents were going home before 11:00 PM, I stayed in there, and a fresh, large queue of support work finally came in, shortly after 11. Kept me busy right up to 1:00 AM.
God is so good…