Biscuit in the basket

I can’t help but admire Jamie Jordan, a.k.a. Jwheels Carver. In his own profile, he writes that he suffers from cerebral palsy, which accounts for his slurred speech and a first life confined to a wheelchair. Other than that, he’s very sharp and observant. His railing against the nonsense of avatar women becoming pregnant with virtual babies and hiring real gynecologists to care for them bears this out.

SVHockey001There’s a lot to be seen in SL that just doesn’t make a lick of sense. My target will eventually be the Global Online Hockey Association. Here are hockey players who play in the summertime on ice that is not cold, and never gets treated by a Zamboni between periods. Some players are wearing no skates, one woman playing in nothing but a jersey and Daisy Dukes, bare all the way down to her toes, and yet they still skate about effortlessly, passing and shooting this puck that has this blue halo around it with inward pointing arrows. Humans and furries seem to play on equal terms.

Even a pint-sized Care Bear named Bedtime Bobbysocks can excel as a goalie. Those of you who went to the Ocean City Doo-Dah Parade will remember him. He played Love-a-Lot Bear. Never knew this myself until he encountered me at the Jericho Hill side of the rink.

I suspect that hockey in Second Life will not yield its full wealth of laugh material until I pick up a hockey stick and start slapping some pucks into the net. So I went to Jericho Hill Arena to get my copy of sticks and a head-up display. I learned how to milk the scoreboard over center ice for practice pucks. It was very early in the morning,

It didn’t feel right to skate around on my bare footpaws, and it didn’t feel angelic to have to wear the boot part of the skates. I still needed that “glued-on” look.

So I bought a pair of Skoopf Icicles this morning. I took them to a sandbox and and overlaid them with copies of my footpaws. To whatever parts of the boots still stuck out of my feet, I applied an alpha texture to turn them invisible.

I wasn’t happy with the more cartoonish skating gait they gave my avatar, but they do have an impressive array of stops, twirls, flips, and jump boosts.

Not a one of which can be shown off in a hockey arena without labeling oneself gay. I guess they’re not impressed with the potential ability to leap from the floor to the press box in a single bound.

The important thing is the skates have hockey-style blades, and all the bells and whistles can be turned off with but a click to let the animations in the hockey stick take over. I have another Tuesday at the Blue Moon Bordello and the TLE Comedy Zone coming up fast, and I need to glean my blog entries for some fast material.

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2 thoughts on “Biscuit in the basket

  1. Hmmm, I don’t recognize the logo on the jersey you’re wearing in that drawing.

    Heh, but in any case, it just goes to show you: The adage of, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should,” can still hold, even in the regions of cyberspace.

  2. I would not be surprised you can’t recognize it; it’s not from the NHL. It’s the free GOHA fan jersey you get with their information package.

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