Mythical Duties: Health Dept.

Whenever I take calls for the state health department, I make the perhaps mistaken assumption that they are just like the customers from the Internet service provider. I presuppose them to be already P.O.ed because they are in deep doggy doo and the people they voted for to run things seem to be doing nothing. Hence my wondering if there are proud taxpayers out there who think they have paid their taxes for a different system of administrating flu vaccine than the one we got in place.

I’m starting to find out what my mythical duties are, the duties that the caller, by virtue of being a taxpayer, would demand from me.

One woman in Cincinnati wanted me to be an enforcer/arbitor, to rule that her city health department must distribute their supply of H1N1 vaccine immediately, instead of sitting on it and claiming they don’t have sufficient manpower.

Another two or three thought that I should be a logistics czar, knowing where every vial is and able to tell nurses when they can begin injecting it into the arms of their ERs full of sick patients.

When they actually get it is still too much in the hands of the vaccine manufacturer, and we can’t tell them anything about when it will show up on their doorstep. That fact alone makes the whole lot of us worthless and ought to be fired, speaking strictly from the standpoint of the taxpayer. We are not paid to know nothing.

So far, that’s the closest thing I’ve come to a caller who wants to hijack my job and turn it into something they want.

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