Super Bowl Rapture

Back in the 1990’s, when I lived in Carrollton, OH, and attended the Carrollton Assembly of God, they had Sunday evening services there at 7:00 PM.

The Super Bowl was a time when the vast majority of American “Christians” would be guilty of disloyalty to God, foregoing their Sunday evening services to worship an American-made sport. And it still is so today.

The Bible says that the Son of God would come back for a Church “without spot or wrinkle.” (Ephesians 5:27) I take this to mean that this Church would be perfect in its devotion to Him, loving Him supremely, holding nothing higher or more sacred than Him.

That doesn’t sound like America during the Super Bowl.

I believed at the time that Jesus would be very selective in whom He takes to Heaven with Him. After all, in a certain parable, His bridegroom had no second thoughts about leaving 50% of the ten virgins on the outside looking in (Matthew 25:1-12). His bridegroom even goes as far as to say, “I know you not. (verse 12)” The 50% ratio also holds true in Matthew 24:36-42, where Jesus says, “One will be taken, and the other left.”

I figured that if I were God, and I wanted a really loyal Church for my Son, I’d send Him back for His bride at such a time as to catch the maximum number of professing Christians with their pants down—during the Super Bowl! Now this is by no means an attempt to predict the date of the Rapture; I still hold to the truth that not even Jesus knows when it’s coming. I’m just trying to explain my thinking. Not wanting to be among the poor losers who will get beheaded as enemies of the state by the Antichrist, I naturally wanted to be among the 50% that made the cut. I had to be at a church service during the Super Bowl.

My attempt at faithful church attendance was compounded by another thing. Publishers Clearing House began to advertise that they would surprise the winners of their multi-million dollar giveaways on national TV at the end of the game. Yet another powerful incentive to stay home that night. Funny what a powerful argument can be the question, “What if it’s me?”

Now that I found a church in Second Life that worships at 6:30 PM SLT, when the Super Bowl is not likely to be over, I wonder if I will now hold myself to that high standard of loyalty. It’s easy to be distracted. All I have to do is turn my head 90° to the right, and I’m looking at my TV.


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