Can they do that?

I recently heard that Nebraska has joined the Big Ten Conference. When I heard about this, I thought, “Can they do this?”

I mean Nebraska is, um, south. And west. Geographically speaking, it’s way out there. Can they really do this?

It will be fun to see what the college football fans at ESPN.com will say about Nebraska’s jump to the Big Ten Conference. I do not look forward to reading what they write at ESPN.com. These people are not so much real fans as bullies by proxy. Their team beating yours is to them the equivalent of picking you up and hanging you on the coat hook of your school locker, leaving you to dangle helplessly. Your team isn’t faring so well? Listen to them laugh their fool heads off.

This is the very definition of the German term schadenfreude, joy at the misfortune of others. I know I have no proper business keeping that kind of company, but I find something addicting to their kind of trash talk. I can’t tear myself away from it.

Let us be actors, and take the time to behave like these knuckle-dragging Neanderthals, shall we? What will Nebraska’s admission to the Big Ten look like to them? The end of Slowhio State’s domineering of an anemic sissy conference? The only possible way the Small Ten can make itself better? The worst career move Nebraska has ever made? Or something else entirely?

I’ve been wanting OSU to have a tougher conference schedule for some time. As it is, reeling off three wins in the Big Ten will not stop the jeers and the laughter on the national level. I’m just a little too emotionally wrapped up in the Buckeyes. Maybe I’m better off letting them go, and reminding myself that their reputation is not mine.

I do my work well. My Census work, that is. There is another, bigger job at which I royally stink, and that is writing large checks. I’m furious at myself for not being able to do that. But still, OSU’s reputation is not mine. I have to fight to remember that.

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