Nasty tendencies

I’m starting to notice this as I move about in Second Life and in recent years in real life.

It seems that I have to be convinced that it is in my best interest to learn something before I take the time and effort to learn it. There are advanced building techniques and LSL scripting available to be learned in SL, and you will be among the more sought-after and admired people if you learn them, if not the most well-paid. It’s the same way with the computing world at large.

However, if I attempt to learn any of this, I quickly reach a point where my mind rebels and refuses to take in any more of this much-coveted knowledge.

Something inside me asks some pretty tough questions. What’s in it for me? How will it get me what I want? The stuff I learn has to be useful, or I won’t learn it.

And don’t give me that garbage about how people will pay me to know it. I’ve been down that street before. Twice. I’ve studied two disciplines, Environmental Safety and Computer Administrative Assisting, only to find out people won’t pay me to know those things. Both were a waste of time and tuition money. Computing and the Internet are giving rise to new disciplines that you must know to earn any appreciable money, but I don’t want to be burned again. I therefore learn only what benefits me and helps me do what I’m responsible for. Screw everything else.

I just thought of something. This reluctance to do anything because it’s proven itself in the past to be a waste of resources. Could this be … management? Am I learning to manage things? Have I learned enough about managing things to possibly consider getting a management position? I don’t have management experience.

I can’t hang onto an entry level position long enough to lead my own team. Maybe that’s what’s wrong. At my advanced age, maybe employers expect me to have some management experience under my belt, and perhaps toss me away as useless without it. I probably have what it takes intuitively to lead a small team, but I don’t have the formal management experience one would expect of me by this point in my life.

Speak to me. The comments are open. What would you suggest?

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